Sunday, November 22, 2009

The Truth ... is that I'm turning 50 :[


Title: Truth
Medium: Acrylic on Canvas & Wood
Size: 18 x 24 inches / Museum Wrapped
Artist: betsisanders 09

I'm currently reading "Comfort Food", a novel by Kate Jacobs. Gus, the main character is turning 50. She loved celebrating, just like me, who loves throwing parties. This book had me at 'hello'...(I've always wanted to use that phrase) ;] ;]

Anyway, "some hostesses love parties because they relish being the center of attention. Gus, on the other hand, found her greatest pleasure in creating a party world with a place for everyone and where she believed everyone would be made to feel special." "There was only one birthday that Gus was tired of organizing. Tired of really celebrating at all. Her own..." She was turning 50. "She who never missed a chance to have a party. And that's when she realized she didn't want to do anything about celebrating either...In fact, she had preferred canceling her birthday altogether." :( .... my thoughts too !!!

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It is now Autumn in many parts of the world. Autumn is actually beautiful, any artist would surely love to paint the colorful landscapes--- crimson, burnt sienna, umber, lemon yellow, yellow ochre, tangerine, pink, --- against the ultramarine, phthalo blue purplish sky, a whole palette of colors. The hot summer days have gone and the long cold winter months are just around the corner.

I am in the 'autumn' of my life, like most of my friends, we 've had the best summers and the most wonderful springs. I am so familiar with the past and have been quite accustomed to it, telling and retelling stories of the past that I have known so well.
But looking towards winter, the 'not so' near future, gives me a strange scary feeling of the unknown, of the uncertainty, where the only thing certain is death, mine or a loved one. :(

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Now let me ask the following questions... please try and answer them, be honest, be truthful.
1. How much are you worth? and do you share what you own?
2. What are you doing? Do you like what you are doing? Why are you doing it? To whom do you offer what you are doing?
3. Are you happy? Do you make other people happy? Are you a source of happiness, inspiration or delight for others?
4. How is your love life? Is there enough love in your life? Does your husband and son love you? Do your sisters, their families, and special friends love you? Will they cry when you die? Will you be missed by them?
5. Who are you fooling? Are you being truthful? or Do you live in a web of lies, not knowing where the truth ends and the lie begins?

(I actually based these questions in one of the articles I read written by Fr. Orbos. I just added a few more questions of my own.)

Pondering on all these questions and knowing the answers to most of them, I realized that I am ready... prepared to face the winter of my life. I do not own much but I am always sharing the very little that I have. I am semi-retired from my profession, Dentistry, and currently pursuing a different path, something that I have always wanted to do, to paint, create art, immortalize my thoughts and feelings on canvas and paper. I am happy, content and grateful. I am loved by a wonderful, caring, understanding and loving husband. I have an obedient, kind, respectful and lovable son. They are my reasons for living. As for friends, I do have a few. well meaning, truthful, 'fair or foul weather' friends, just a handful and you know who you all are.

Now the last question... "Who am I fooling?" I try to be as open and honest with everyone. I have walked away from people who did not love me back. I stayed away from people who dragged me down, are heavy, ungrateful and unappreciative. If this entails being quiet and spending time only with family and a few friends, then, that's good enough.I'll spend my precious time with truthful, honest, smart, fun loving and happy people. Choose to walk away and turn your back on those who fabricate lies, to gain sympathy and attention.

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"A truthful person is confident and free. A person full of lies is fearful and trembling deep inside." (Fr. Jerry Orbos, SVD)


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It takes two to tango, two to fight and two to make things right.
Choose life, love and happiness always.
Live, love and party...all the time! (betsisanders 09)

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