candy -- funny how time flies

Ttle : Candy
Medium: Acrylic on canvas (museum wrapped)
Size: 5 x 7 inches
Artist: betsisanders 83


Candy, represents youthfulness. You don't see a 50 year old like me with this candy in my mouth while I walk in the malls. But younger kids, high school girls walk around with this lolly sticking out from their mouths. I don't remember the time last time my 17 y/o son asked me to buy him a whistle pop or that candy pop that is shaped like a pacifier. We used to buy a big plastic full of these 'pacifiers' , but he would only eat a certain kind of flavor and the flavors he didn't like end up being given to his cousins. I would have enjoyed those little 'sucker treats', but my 'diabetes' conscience tells me otherwise.

This is probably the last summer that I will bond with my son. ....... our family driver resigned last month and I haven't found a replacement, It is mom, me, who brings Alvin to his violin and piano lessons at the UP college of Music.

Sometimes, I let him drive the car, hoping that when school starts in June, he will be able to drive himself to school. In the meantime, I will enjoy this last summer where mom and son will always be together, to bond, to have small petty arguments, have fun intimate dinners together, go shopping in the mall and simply be there for each other... this summer will be most memorable, because my young boy is turning 18 on may 24, will be a little man now and not a young boy.; who definitely has a mind of his own, independent and will not be needing mom anymore.

He goes out with a group of guys who play anime songs. Alvin plays keyboard. His friend Kris plays the drums. 2 other guys play the guitars and 2 nice girls from St Bridget and Miriam College are their vocalists. They will have a gig this Saturday at the Metrowalk, I still have to find out where their gig will be.

I have always dreamed that my son will become a doctor, or a dentist, but he has other plans like going to the college of music, what shall we do then? ..... nothing.. if that is his calling, then we just have to support him.

I've always told Alvin that I have a very successful friend in dentistry , who has a successful practice and is even Chairman of the Board of Dentistry, but he plays nightly at a bar, on keyboard for his 8 track band . I told Alvin that he can become a doctor and still get to play in a band. =[ maybe my friend can talk to my son and give him some advice.

Alvin is growing up really fast, too fast, and I am falling/trailing behind him. He is more intelligent than mom, more patient, and tolerates his mom's bad moods.

Always remember these Alvin,,,, mom will always be mom even when I am old and grey; daddy and mommy love your more than anyone and anything in this whole world.

Next time I ask to buy cotton candy, pls allow mom.. it's just like old times, I'll eat a piece and you eat the rest. I would like to eat them all but I might just find myself in a diabetic coma...I wouldn't want to miss everything you'll do in your young life. Pray that mom will live a little longer to see you become a great handsome guy, loved by many. Never be away from mom and dad because we love you lots.

Thanks for accompanying mom to America. Mom never travels alone... and it is always family who will be there for us. Roseville , here we come....=]=]=]your Ate Cristina is now Doctor of Dental Medicine. She emailed me and said that we are now the same, both dentists. She even asked if i could be there to 'hood' her. What a beautiful request and privilege. How i wish i could be there.I am so happy for you my dear Tina.

I'm so proud of all of you my dear little nieces and nephews. You've all grown and have become successful, career-orriented kids. Your young lives have just begun.

Take care all of you.. I'll give you some candy, to remind you how we oldies took care of you when you were little.... We gave you boxes of Hershey bars, Kisses and lollies =]


betsisanders 2010

CHAIR... at the corner of this little garden

Title: Chair at the corner of this little garden
Medium: Acrylic on Canvas (museum wrapped)
Size: 5 x 7 inches
Artist: betsisanders 2010

SOLITUDE... state of being completely alone; being cut off from human contact; also means isolation or physical separation from other people; seclusion or confining oneself to one's home or a remote place separate from the outside world.

Some people had worn me out. I felt very tired, lacked patience, intolerant of their moods, and most often simply irked by their presence. I had been very critical of their needs, demands, problems. Instead of sympathy, empathy or compassion, I found myself resenting them more and more. We were just too close for comfort and I retreated to my own little world and kept a distance.

I dreaded hearing mass on Sundays. There was no solemnity in the service. I get distracted by some over-dressed woman, irritated by little children, had lost my concentration and couldn't understand the priest's sermon.

By being still and simple, I emptied my spirit. I had become an empty vessel, devoid of thoughts, monstrous thoughts. In being alone, I had come face to face with my negative emotions, fear, anger, hurt, sadness. I said to myself, that what bothers me now, right will not matter or bother me ten years from now. Only then do I become calm and peaceful.

In solitude, I learned to love myself more. I realized that if other people are ganging up on me, it does not matter. They do not matter. I have discovered, unearthed things inside me and fulfilled my dreams. The creative half of myself revealed the real me.

Where does this creativity come from? From Him, Who is inside me all the time. I sought Him in churches or monasteries, in the confines of my bedroom, in the privacy of my bathroom...He manifests His presence anywhere... even at the 'corner of this little garden'.

betsisanders 2010

if you can't iimprove the silence, be quiet...

<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi4U14ATvQUfnxyS6db6YGN0Ka7j-kT81hfvKgpD3KUpZw0NDLmnBG03Tm-if6f0R_7arIDGiG7Jcux-4LtHy9LXd_AKdtG2YcbHtjhliUaWE6IPdrAmJqp6cGUwds8n7HFZpMZJpFZDqJ6/s1600/parrot+1.JPG">Title: My Colorful Pet Parrot
Size: 5 x 7 inches / museum wrapped
Medium: Acrylic
Artist: betsisanders 2010

One can teach a parrot to speak, if only to utter words of praise. How I wish human beings can also be taught to speak only about good things, They say that if you cannot improve the silence, do not speak.

But I write and speak my mind. I hope that with what I have to say today, on Good Friday, one or two people will be inspired. I am conceited and I want what I write, paint or say, to be appreciated , and probably help someone in need to make his/her life a little better, a little happier. ..I m not a shallow person or a person who has 'sayad' or 'topak'.... I'd like to be remembered as a profound significant thoughtful loyal and generous friend. If one or two persons feel that way about me, I will forever be grateful.

>>>>>>>>

Every Good Friday,it has been my habit to watch the “Seven Last Words” on television. What struck me most about today's sharing or sermon was the first 'sharer'. She didn't have the eloquence or the ability to to be persuasive, fluent or be a powerful speaker. All she did was thank the people who helped her, after she survived being hacked, mutilated by four men. There was a long pause after her 'thank you' speech. I thought that was the shortest most boring 'sharing'. After a while, someone started to sing and I thought that they were getting ready for the next sharer. Meanwhile, at the corner of the stage , rather, altar of Christ the King Church, there she was wearing a chef's uniform and was preparing a salad using her arms. She had no hands.

I was in awe. She has forgiven those who have mutilated her body; had the determination to go on living despite her physical handicap. She is one grateful individual, who had shown her deepest gratitude to all those who had helped her survive her ordeal and pursue a better life. She did not need any words.... I understood.

“Forgive them for they do not know what they are doing.”

The priest, who earlier shared his thoughts on the first of the Seven Last Words, said that he once had distanced himself from a sister , or was it a sister in law. He said that the woman wrote him letters, very bad letters, and that he was very much hurt with what the woman had written. He stayed away from the woman, banished her from his life, turned his back on her.

I found myself identifying with this priest's actions or reactions. I, too, have done the same thing, stayed away, turned my back and banished my frenemies from my life.

The priest continued his narration. He said that he later found out that the woman had mental illness. That was when he realized that the woman did not know what she was doing, and that he had forgiven her.

How I wish I could say that my frenemies or detractors also have mental illness, so that it will be easy for me to forgive them.

If I compare what my frenemies had done to me, to what Jesus had to endure... my hurts, my suffering, my complaints are nothing. I just have to look up to Jesus on the cross, who had forgiven those who made him suffer. Who am I not to forgive.

“Father, Forgive them for they do not know what they are doing.”

*****

May I quote Father Orbos, “Do not be a storm to other people's lives.” “Do not cause them pain, or make them worry, or cause them trouble, and sleepless nights.”

What are these storms that enslave you, or chain you, and make you troubled captives?


always needing to be right
constant self pity or self doubt
blaming others instead of looking into one's self and taking resonsibility
endless criticism, gossiping, miakng up stories to prove one's innocence, to prove one is not guilty of any wrongdoing
being happy for others' misery
continual fretting and worryiing
being arrogant and putting other people down, feeling all powerful, all righteous, all popular, all great and mighty
an ungrateful person, never acknowledging the help that was given to her, forgetiing how she was once a recipient of another's generosity
thinking only of one's self, self-centered, selfish
always bragging about her material possessions only shows how sick she really is

>>>>>>>>

the inability to forgive. That is the greatest shackle or chain that holds me captive. To forgive those who do not know what they are doing. To love the unlovable. This, dear Lord, I have yet to learn, so that i shall be free from the chains that bind me, so that I can be not just happy, but be able to make others happy too. ...and when I can do this, I will be able to attain my latest pursuit... joy

The pursuit of happiness, which was my goal three years ago has been achieved. I can say that I am completely happy. Now, i have raised my level... my pursuit will be of joy. How will I go about this? With God's help, with those people who love me back and with my dearest loved ones and true friends, I will be able to achieve joy, everlasting joy.

betsisanders' prayer....”Lord, teach me and help me to love all sentient beings. to love the unlovable. With your love and guidance, I shall attain this one day. Thank you for making me happy, because only a happy person can make others happy too.”

A

>>>>>>>>

Be a trained parrot who do not speak ill of others, but brings cheer to children and adults. What a lovely beautiful creation of our Lord. How can you not believe there is a God? This creature, this parrot is just one of God's creations. Believe in God. I do.

betsisanders / Good Friday 2010