Title: Chair at the corner of this little gardenMedium: Acrylic on Canvas (museum wrapped)
Size: 5 x 7 inches
Artist: betsisanders 2010
SOLITUDE... state of being completely alone; being cut off from human contact; also means isolation or physical separation from other people; seclusion or confining oneself to one's home or a remote place separate from the outside world.
Some people had worn me out. I felt very tired, lacked patience, intolerant of their moods, and most often simply irked by their presence. I had been very critical of their needs, demands, problems. Instead of sympathy, empathy or compassion, I found myself resenting them more and more. We were just too close for comfort and I retreated to my own little world and kept a distance.
I dreaded hearing mass on Sundays. There was no solemnity in the service. I get distracted by some over-dressed woman, irritated by little children, had lost my concentration and couldn't understand the priest's sermon.
By being still and simple, I emptied my spirit. I had become an empty vessel, devoid of thoughts, monstrous thoughts. In being alone, I had come face to face with my negative emotions, fear, anger, hurt, sadness. I said to myself, that what bothers me now, right will not matter or bother me ten years from now. Only then do I become calm and peaceful.
In solitude, I learned to love myself more. I realized that if other people are ganging up on me, it does not matter. They do not matter. I have discovered, unearthed things inside me and fulfilled my dreams. The creative half of myself revealed the real me.
Where does this creativity come from? From Him, Who is inside me all the time. I sought Him in churches or monasteries, in the confines of my bedroom, in the privacy of my bathroom...He manifests His presence anywhere... even at the 'corner of this little garden'.
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