Title: Two Kois
“today is a good day as any other to leave this world...”(Paolo Coelho)
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'the desire for perfection' ... aren't we all driven by desire? to be different, to stand out, to succeed, to excel, to be perfect? we live very stressful lives, always in competition mode. .. and to compete with whom? mostly with ourselves. in the process, we hurt, we ache, most often, manifested in physical and emotional pain.... burning, piercing, stabbing, gnawing pain... slowly consuming our minds and our bodies.
you find yourself crying alone, ... and no amount of medications can ease the pain. in the stillness of the night, you quietly sob, so no one can hear, no one can know how much you suffer, sleep evades you. ... sleep comes because the body had to shut down, only to wake up a couple of hours later at the wee hours of the morning, staring at the ceiling, with only the four walls of your bedroom looking back at you.
this is the calm... the quiet stillness of the night. this is when you create, paint, write, or simply sit still like the ballerina on the painting. how you wish you can make time stop and be still, sit quietly and linger longer in this calm, before life sets in again. this is the calm after every stormy day... after a storm, you hear the birds sing, you see a rainbow, a new beginning....but after this calm, there will be another storm... another day...
in life... we say "I'm not good enough, smart enough, thin enough,pretty enough, rich enough.... I'm not enough." Or ..."I'm not perfect." Some give up, choose not to participate, quit... because they can never be as pretty, as smart or good enough... or perfect...
Fr. Orbos says, “Be kind to others, but be kinder to yourself.”.. so, who cares if I'm not smart enough, nor thin enough, nor rich enough....”
Anthony Doerr said, “Anyone who has spent a few nights in a tent during a storm can tell you: The world doesn't care all that much if you live or die.
I say, “it is only in death that one can achieve perfection... can there be lasting peace and everlasting calm.” Death ends all suffering... the black swan, frail and obsessive, fell into madness, blurred her perception of reality, driven by her desire to attain perfection... attained perfection in death.
I always say, if no one appreciates, there is always One Who does, and that is good enough for me.
In the meantime ... when death hasn't come your way, sit like the ballerina, sit still, be still, be calm.... and you know what? it is in this stillness that God is present.
/ betsisanders 2011
Title: The Sunny Ballerina ... 'on friendship'What is a friend? A single soul, dwelling in two bodies" - Aristotle
The sunny ballerina, is still at the springtime of her life, as I hope to still be in my mine. (In reality, I'm at the autumn of my life.) it is at this point in my insignificant life that I value friendship more than anything. . Friends can be husbands or life partners, children ( my fabulous son), travel buddies, high school and grade school classmates, colleagues in dentistry, and some FB cyber friends.
So what is friendship? It's an interpersonal relationship. According to the Roman philosopher Cicero, “In order to have a true friendship with someone, one must have complete honesty, truth, and trust. He also thought that friends would do things for each other without expectation of repayment.
The following are just some of the basic requirements for true and lasting interrelationships with our so called precious friends.
desire what is best for the other
Value, be free speak the truth, even if it hurts. only a true friend can do it and dare to risk losing the friendship.
Mutual understanding and compassion ; which sometimes we forget or fail to deliver.
Trust in one another,
Positive reciprocity - a relationship is based on equal give and take between the two parties.
If one is missing, friendships tend to wane , drift away and lost. What a loss, you might say.. No dear, because there are others who are more deserving of your love,your time , your resources... those people who love you back .
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The different kinds of friends, where do you belong?
Best friend (or the closest friend): A person with whom someone shares extremely strong interpersonal ties with as a friend.
BFF ("best friend forever"): Slang used primarily in the USA by teenage and young adult women to describe a girl friend or close best friend.
Bro: Slang used primarily by teenage and young adult men to describe a boy friend or close best friend. This term is currently used to describe the modern generation of college-age male party-goers. The name is typically associated with attention-seeking males who like to get drunk and party constantly.
Sis: Also slang used primarily like "Bro" but for women and girls.
Buddy: Buddies are also acquaintances that you have during certain events, like travel buddies
Family friend: A friendship extended to family members of the friends.
Cross-sex friendship: A person having a friend of the opposite sex with having little or no sexual or romantic activity: a male who has a female friend, or a female who has a male friend. Historically cross-sex friendships have been rare. This is because often men would labor in order to support themselves and their family, while women stayed at home and took care of the housework and children. The lack of contact led to men forming friendships exclusively with their colleagues, and women forming friendships with other stay-at-home mothers. However, as women attended schools more and as their presence in the workplace increased, the segregated friendship dynamic was altered, and cross-sex friendships began to increase. Cross-sex friendship has once been a sign of gender deviance, but now it has been loosened because of the increase of gender equality in schools and the workplace, along with certain interests and pastimes such as sports.
Frenemy: frenemy refers to someone who pretends to be a friend but actually is an enemy—a proverbial wolf in sheep's clothing in the world of friendships. This is also known as a love–hate relationship. Most people have encountered a frenemy at one time or another in the same places one might find friends—school, work, the neighborhood. A frenemy is a potential source of irritation and stress.
Fruit flies,fag hag or fag stag : denotes a person (usually heterosexual) who forms deep ties or close friendships with gay men. Men (gay or straight) who have lesbian friends have been referred to as lezbros or lesbros. The term has often been claimed by these straight members in gay-straight friendships, however some feel that it is derogatory.
Imaginary friend: a non-physical friend created by a child or even an adult. Sometimes they're human, other times they're animals like the life-size rabbit in the old Jimmy Stewart movie, Harvey. Imaginary friends are also created for people desperate for social interaction but are isolated from contact with humans and pets.
Internet relationship: a form of friendship which takes place over the internet. Some internet friendships evolve into real life friendships. Internet friendships are in similar context to a pen pal. These friendships are also based on the thought that the other person that they may not have ever met in real life knows them for who they are instead of the mask they may use in real life.
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Good friends encourage their friends to lead more healthy lifestyles;
Good friends encourage their friends to seek help and access services, when needed;
Good friends actually affect physiological pathways that are protective of health.
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thanks to google, wikipedia and other sources of information thru the www, i was able to compile this blog about friendship....
when i asked an old friend to describe me in one word, he said, 'friend'... thanks sir =] i try to be the best friend i can be but if i sometimes do not meet your expectations, then, maybe i am not the friend you need. take care all =]
be well, be safe and have a nice life my good old friends....
love , love lots and truly love / (betsisanders - may 2011)
Madam Alita Acuna, the ballerina 
This is my Nanay, Angelita Africa Tolentino. (1931-2000)
