Friday, May 06, 2011

The Pink Ballerina


Title: The Pink Ballerina
Medium: Acrylic on Museum Wrapped Canvas
Size: 5 x 7 inches
Artist: betsisanders 2011
Date: May 6, 2011



“today is a good day as any other to leave this world...”(Paolo Coelho)

*************************

'the desire for perfection' ... aren't we all driven by desire? to be different, to stand out, to succeed, to excel, to be perfect? we live very stressful lives, always in competition mode. .. and to compete with whom? mostly with ourselves. in the process, we hurt, we ache, most often, manifested in physical and emotional pain.... burning, piercing, stabbing, gnawing pain... slowly consuming our minds and our bodies.


you find yourself crying alone, ... and no amount of medications can ease the pain. in the stillness of the night, you quietly sob, so no one can hear, no one can know how much you suffer, sleep evades you. ... sleep comes because the body had to shut down, only to wake up a couple of hours later at the wee hours of the morning, staring at the ceiling, with only the four walls of your bedroom looking back at you.

this is the calm... the quiet stillness of the night. this is when you create, paint, write, or simply sit still like the ballerina on the painting. how you wish you can make time stop and be still, sit quietly and linger longer in this calm, before life sets in again. this is the calm after every stormy day... after a storm, you hear the birds sing, you see a rainbow, a new beginning....but after this calm, there will be another storm... another day...

in life... we say "I'm not good enough, smart enough, thin enough,pretty enough, rich enough.... I'm not enough." Or ..."I'm not perfect." Some give up, choose not to participate, quit... because they can never be as pretty, as smart or good enough... or perfect...

Fr. Orbos says, “Be kind to others, but be kinder to yourself.”.. so, who cares if I'm not smart enough, nor thin enough, nor rich enough....”

Anthony Doerr said, “Anyone who has spent a few nights in a tent during a storm can tell you: The world doesn't care all that much if you live or die.

I say, “it is only in death that one can achieve perfection... can there be lasting peace and everlasting calm.” Death ends all suffering... the black swan, frail and obsessive, fell into madness, blurred her perception of reality, driven by her desire to attain perfection... attained perfection in death.

I always say, if no one appreciates, there is always One Who does, and that is good enough for me.

In the meantime ... when death hasn't come your way, sit like the ballerina, sit still, be still, be calm.... and you know what? it is in this stillness that God is present.


[Painting inspired by a photograph of Natalie Portman in the movie “The Black Swan”. This movie is one of the most intense movies I've watched so far.]

/ betsisanders 2011


No comments:

Post a Comment