Sunflower Lady 2013, a watercolor painting by betsisanders

Title:  Sunflower Lady 2013

Size:  8 x 11 inches

Medium:  Watercolor

Artist: betsisanders 2013

********

I have made several versions of this Sunflower Lady.
One was sold on opening night.  Others were given
away as gifts.  This one will be displayed in my bedroom
for a while, until I find someone, a friend, 
who will give it a home.
***
I have been consumed with hurt, anger, and hatred
 towards people who took advantage of my trust
and my kindness.  I've written about closing doors,
losing trust, lies, deception and 'thieves'.
I have been painting a lot, reading, writing, 
blogging .. such solitary activities.
I do it to heal my soul. That's what I think I am doing.
It's been almost six months and it seems
like it is taking forever to heal.  
***
I've been praying a lot too. Praying my novenas
and reciting the twenty mysteries of the Holy Rosary.
I even went to the Blessed Sacrament, 
but just ended up crying the moment I stepped inside
the chapel. 
***
What else can I do to heal?
I have forgotten the very basic thing to do.
Stop. Pause. Think of happy thoughts.
Smile. Choose to be happy.
Choose JOY!
...
Be still. Know that He is with me.
Keep quiet. Keep calm.
.. and the most effective.
No thoughts!
Think of your next thought.
By doing this, you end up having none.
No unhappy thoughts.
Silence. Peace.
***
/ betsisanders 2013