Monday, June 22, 2015

Death leaves a gaping hole in my heart that seems to never heal.




It’s been eight months since my Dad died.
 I checked my newsfeed in FB yesterday and I saw the immense outpouring of HFD greetings.  I just couldn’t help feeling so isolated. When I saw the photo of my Dad on my sister’s timeline, I couldn’t even comment or click “like”. I said to myself that it’s just one day and it’s going to be okay. What troubles or bothers me today, won’t really matter tomorrow, the day after, a year later or ten years from now. Sigh  … deep breaths again.
Since I wasn’t able to visit my Dad in June last year or when he had a heart attack in August, nor was I able to be with him during his last few days and  I even  missed his wake because I forgot my old passport which had my US visa, thereby, missed my flight,   I promised myself that I wouldn’t be flying anywhere. For how long? I really do not know.
Time heals all wounds, as they say.  Oh yeah, maybe it does but this type of wound leaves a scar that keeps on reminding me of the hurt and the loss. 
It’s my Nanay’s 15th death anniversary at the end of this month and I still remember vividly the day she died. 
"Death leaves a gaping hole in my heart which seems to never heal." 
    --- betsisanders, June 22, 2015

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