HSP … that means Highly
Sensitive Person. (I hope this isn’t the first time you’ve come across this acronym
and I also hope you know what an acronym is.)
I am a highly sensitive person. I have been called highly
emotional, intense, a cry-baby. I’ve been described as having a lot of feelings. I’ve been labeled as emphatic and empathic ---
which btw are two different words with totally different meanings. Emphatic means forceful, assertive, and
insistent. Empathic or empathetic is
humane, compassionate, understanding and sympathetic.
You still don’t get it, do you?
Highly sensitive people tend to “over-feel” everything,
including the surroundings. I picked up a scent as I walked out of Cinema 6 in
Eastwood yesterday, (after watching Ant-Man). I asked my son if he could smell the
air freshener or some kind of fragrance, which I thought was coming from the
cologne or perfume of the person in front of me. The scent was masked by the odors coming from the fast food
stalls. Son had to close his eyes and it
took him a while to discern, recognize and identify the sweet smelling
fragrance that I had perceived earlier. Being sensitive runs in our family. My
sister, the medical doctor, could smell the tea that I brewed in her kitchen on
the ground floor, while she is in her bedroom on the second floor.
I am irritated by loud
people. I despise the noise coming from the neighbors’ helpers early morning
banter, or those that come from their television set and radio. I am bothered
by repetitive chirping of birds on our window sill or the constant hammering
coming from the construction site across the street. I am annoyed by the smell of someone else’s
cooking. I am irked by someone, anyone, and anybody who just walked by or is sitting
three tables away. This could be quite exhausting for me. So I find myself
walking away, turning around, or putting on earplugs, to avoid these annoying stimuli.
One comment, one word could trigger a rush of emotions
from anger to sadness and back. I cannot help but react, fight back, talk back
and express how I have been offended or upset. I have to make some adjustments to shield myself, lest I be
misunderstood and judged. If sensitive people, like me, modify our behavior and
try to adapt, then those tough, thick skinned others must also try to
accommodate us by keeping sarcastic comments to themselves.
***
Yesterday morning, (after I
joyfully shared the photo of my son wearing his white uniform with some friends) I got upset with a colleague’s assessment of his patient’s chief complaint,
pain. His evaluation of the chief
complaint as psychogenic in nature is not just ignorant, unintelligent,
dimwitted, but plain stupid. Hubby and I
have this private joke about physicians, nurses, therapists. I can now
add dentist to this list. These professionals would often say that stress is
the cause of the illness when they cannot come up with an intelligent diagnosis
of a patient’s medical-dental symptoms/complaints/ illness/pain.
Pain is real. Otherwise, there won’t be a
multi-billion dollar industry for pain relievers, non-steroidal
anti-inflammatory drugs, anti-epileptic drugs and anti-depressants that are now
prescribed to patients who suffer from PAIN.
The word was defensive. That was what my dental
colleague/classmate wrote and here I am writing, typing away (for hours) to
release the anger, to de-stress and to clear my thoughts. I said
to him, “I’d rather be defensive of all (those who suffer from pain, who are
offended and hurt) rather than be offensive like ---!”
I’ve thought up some ways to deal with highly
sensitive persons:
1. Try to resist having an argument with them, whether it is about
politics, religion or just about anything under the sun.
2. Try to understand them if they take things, most things, all
things, personally. You don’t have to tell them or call their attention, they
already know.
3. Try to sympathize if they need space, quiet time, “me” time. It
isn’t about you. They just need to breathe, time away from the influx of
stimuli that bombard and destroy their sense of peace.
4. Try to show concern or just let them be when they suddenly seem to
pause or stop to think, or when they seem to have lost attention. Just keep
quiet for a while. Don’t ask what they’re thinking of. Don’t try to make some small
talk, which will actually be senseless to them. They are deep thinkers. You
wouldn’t want to look like some idiot to them.
5. When you do talk to them, don’t talk loud. They hate attention
seekers or what is known as KSA’s (kulang sa attention). They do not want other people to look at
them, much more stare at them because of your uncouth, childish, somewhat
stupid behavior.
6. HSP’s love art. They don’t just appreciate art, they make it. They
can spend hours painting, a most solitary activity. Art isn’t for showing off. It heals.
7. Although, HSP’s love solitary activities like reading, writing,
painting, watching movies or 'telenovelas', they do need some companionship once in
a while. They love being with their true friends for a buffet lunch, a cup of coffee, a slice
of cake, or a couple of drinks, just to catch up on each other’s
lives.
********
I am lucky to have married a man who totally understands me,
allows me to be “me”, never judgmental, never antagonizes or contradicts my
decisions. If he doesn’t agree, he tells me gently and softly. He is very
supportive and loves me most. I have an
equally great son, who is more like his Dad.
I can be highly sensitive with these two wonderful individuals in my
life.
********
May
I quote a favorite author.
“Just for today
I will allow my movement
To be shaped by my heart
I will not explain or defend
I will not apologize or seek to be understood
Just for today
I will walk softly, speak little, offer what I can
Just for today
I will let being what I am
Be enough”
