betsisanders

Saturday, December 19, 2015

Christmas 2015

Fernando B Sena's Book Launch

at the UP Vargas Museum

***

HubB clowning around again!

***

HubB's birthday celebration.

***

Christmas Eve Dinner with the Sanders

***

Year end dinner with good old friends,
the HubB and Alvin at The Jeepney Cafe,
Intercontinental Hotel.
Felt nostalgic during the buffet dinner.
Food wasn't that great anymore, but being with
those close to my heart was all I really needed.

After 46 years, Intercon will close their doors with
a big bang. Intercon will cease to exist after the
new year's eve celebration. We will always have fond
memories of partying and disco dancing at Where Else;
delicious dinners at the Jeepney Cafe, their flagship restaurant.

There will be bigger, more grandiose and more fabulous
hotels, cafes, restaurants ... we just have to make
new memories, won't we?

Happier, healthier and hopefully wealthier new year
for all of us !!!

Monday, November 30, 2015

Door, an acrylic painting by betsisanders

Title: Door

Size: 5 x 7 inches

Medium: Acrylic

Artists: betsisanders 2015

***

It's almost the end of the year and before I start

posting photos of Christmas trees,

let me share with you this painting of a door.

I love painting doors, closed doors.

My favorite author wrote:

"Close some doors

Not because of pride, incapacity

or arrogance,

but simply because

they no longer lead somewhere."

I've been hurt many times.

Cut the cords.

I turned my back, walked away,

closed doors, bolted them and

kept them shut.

I've mellowed down.

Not feisty nor fierce anymore.

That's what I tell friends, those

ones I have chosen to stay around.

I value my peace of mind.

I love myself more.

I respect me.

I will close my door again...

quietly... (I hope...)

But I have this urge to slam it first.

Sigh ... they just aren't worth my time

and my love.

I will keep them in my heart

.... not in my life.

***

Saturday, November 07, 2015

Goodbye Charo ...

Charo and I weren’t really close friends in dental school. I don’t even remember having a conversation with her in college. Our first and longest chat was during one Perio seminar at the Intercontinental Hotel. For the entire morning, Charo recounted her life as a battered housewife and how she managed to leave her abusive, violent husband. I was shocked and pitied her much. In time, Charo finally found the love of her life (Dr. Joe). After that intense conversation, Charo and I became friends.

Three years ago, December 2012. Charo was diagnosed with Stage 4 lung cancer which has metastasized to her spine. When I found out about her cancer, I cried profusely to Jacqui and Alan.

Charo used to ask me what medicines I take for my back pain and I was more than willing to share with her the story of my “painful” existence. We were taking the same medications, Lyrica and Tramadol, but Charo took the maximum dosage for these meds and would take Codeine, or was it Morphine, if her pain was unbearable.

Three weeks ago, I received a text invite from Charo to celebrate her birthday at Gloria Maris. At the end of her message, she said that she has lost a lot of weight, might need help walking and asked me not to cry. I informed Alan, Jacqui and Ranny about the text message and suggested to reschedule the celebration. When we finally agreed on an earlier date, Charo canceled. She said she can’t see us because she’s been in reverse isolation for a month and cannot even be visited.

Five days before her birthday, Charo sent me another message saying that she’s confined at the hospital, needed blood transfusion and had difficulty in breathing. The text was sent at 1:35 pm, Saturday, 31^st of October. I asked Alan if we could visit Charo the next day. But it was All Saint’s Day and everyone was busy visiting their dearly departed, except me. I was home … alone.

Charo never replied to my texts. I had a bad feeling. Somehow, I knew she was gone. I sent her a message, told her to get well, and that I love love love her so much! The next day, I got calls from Jacqui and Anna, but missed answering their calls.

We went to the wake on Nov 4, at noon, to be with Charo on her birthday. I didn’t have the courage to look at her inside the coffin. I didn’t want that to be my last memory of her.

I asked Anna if Charo told her about her difficulty in breathing. Charo didn't.
Charo also didn't tell her sister. Did she tell anyone else? I really wouldn't know.

***

The death of a loved one

- a parent, a daughter or a friend,

reminds me of my own mortality.

I fear death, not just my own,

but more so, the death

of those closest to me.

I dread being alone.

and selfish of me to ask God

to take me first, before those I love.
***

Goodbye Charo ...

Sunday, November 01, 2015

I owe my Dad a debt I can never pay back.

Ben Tolentino, aka, Bentol... his life story ended one year ago,

but my Dad's significance is not lost. It is my responsibility to

celebrate, honor and respect the dignity of my father's life.

I owe my Dad a debt that I can never pay back.

We, as family, relatives, friends, as human beings ...

all have this responsibility, moral obligation to preserve the

memory of our loved ones who have gone ahead.

Thank you to all who came over to the gathering
this afternoon, to remember, honor and pray for my Dad.

Tuesday, October 20, 2015

Autumn Leaves, an acrylic painting by betsisanders

Title: Autumn Leaves
Size: 5 x 7 inches
Medium: Acrylic on Museum Wrapped Canvas
Artist: betsisanders 2015

Death is the end of someone’s life story. Perhaps, the loss of one person’s significance is what makes death pitiful, pathetic, sorrowful and filled with grief. It’s been a year since my Dad passed. Daddy died last year. Only my siblings and their families were there. Nobody else showed up, not even me. Was there a service? Was there someone from the clergy to say a few comforting words? I don’t know. I wasn’t there to say rest in peace Dad.

Dad wanted his cremains brought back to Manila. Thanks to my dear friend, Dr. Aimee, for bringing Dad home. Dad wanted to be laid to rest with Nanay in some crypt, preferably in Loyola. That would be my job, to bring my parents together in a final resting place.

I am talking about death again. It is certain. It’s probably just around the corner waiting. It is my greatest fear. But you know what I pray for? I ask Him to take me first.

I am an old girl, at the autumn of my life. “Winter is coming.” Haha … that phrase which is often said in every episode of my favorite series. (Oh… I’m sidetracked again.) Talking of autumn, it’s the most colorful season, also the most loved, second to spring. But as it ends, there lurks sadness, a dreary feeling, cold that makes one shudder.