Bonsai, an acrylic painting by betsisanders

In the cycle of nature there is no such thing as victory or defeat: there is only movement.
The gazelle eats the grass and is devoured by the lion. It isn’t a matter of who is the strongest, but God’s way of showing us the cycle of death and resurrection. And within that cycle there are neither winners nor losers, there are only stages that must be gone through. When the human heart understands this, it is free, able to accept difficult times and not be deceived by moments of glory.
Both will pass. One will succeed the other. And the cycle will continue until we liberate ourselves from the flesh and find the Divine Energy."


Therefore, when the fighter is in the ring – whether by his own choice or because unfathomable destiny has placed him there – may his spirit be filled with joy at the prospect of the fight ahead. If he holds on to his dignity and his honour, then, even if he loses the fight, he will never be defeated, because his soul will remain intact.

- Paulo Coelho, Manuscript found in Accra

Closed Door, an acrylic painting by betsisanders 2017

Title:  Closed Door

Size:  8 x 11 inches

Medium:  Acrylic on Canvas

Artist:  betsianders 2017

***

" Only these precious smiles are important to me.

Nothing else matters." (betsisanders 2017)

***

We were in Palawan last week.  This trip has been planned

early last year and this is our fourth time in Palawan.  

Last time was  January 2015 in El Nido.

It's because of this trip that I missed attending our 

high school class reunion over the weekend. 

It irks me to hear that someone would say that

 I intentionally chose this date to go on a vacation 

with my family just so I wouldn't attend that reunion.

No dearie ... you are soooo wrong!

Travel dates are dependent on factors like

low season / promo fares and  birthdays or anniversaries.

But if you still think that I chose these dates on purpose,

then so be it!!!  I'd rather be with those people who love 

me most than spend an afternoon with people I hardly

know or those I have chosen to walk away from.

***

Paulo Coelho wrote:

"Close some doors

Not because of pride, incapacity

or arrogance, 

but simply because 

they no longer lead somewhere."

And may I quote myself...

I've been hurt many times.

Cut the cords.

I turned my back, walked away,

closed doors, bolted them and 

kept them shut.

I've mellowed down.

Not feisty nor fierce anymore.

That's what I tell friends, those

ones I have chosen to stay.

I value my peace of mind.

I love myself more.

I respect me.

I will close my door again...

quietly... (I hope...)

But I have this urge to slam it first.

Sigh ...  they just aren't worth my time

and my love.

I will keep them in my heart

.... not in my life.

(written on November 2015)

***

Flowers for my Dad and Nanay

All Saints’ Day is four days away.  It’s a religious holiday where our dearly departed are remembered; their tombs or crypts are cleaned and visited by family and friends; where we all pay our respect by offering flowers, candles and prayers.

I remember my Dad coming home with boxes of fresh imported orchids and  my Nanay  buying the biggest candles, every year.   We drive for four (or more) long hours to bring these flowers and candles  to Inang’s grave, located at the barrio’s local cemetery. Our ‘offerings’ are placed on top of two huge white  sepulchers (which are in the midst of numerous small tombstones).  Hmmm… I always had negative feelings or thoughts  about this yearly ‘practice’.  I would much rather pray in church than show off those ‘offerings’.  When my sisters and I became older,  we found excuses not to go to the province.  Dad somehow had a ‘change of heart’ and would just send the flowers and candles through aunts or cousins who were going home to Inang.

Flowers are for the living… for those who can see and appreciate these beautiful flowers; for those who can smell the delicate fragrance of these beautiful blooms; and for those who can touch the soft fragile petals of these blossoms.

When Dad died a few years ago, I wasn’t able to go to him.  I failed to bring him flowers and light candles for him.  Instead, I made several flower paintings and placed these  in his bedroom, beside his solo picture.  I have placed my parents’ last beautiful picture together on top of the bookcase, where some of my flower paintings are displayed.

I don’t buy fresh flowers… I make flower paintings and offer them to my Dad, my Nanay and my little angel, Marie Angelica.  I’ll try to light a candle for all of you. Oh… I also offered some masses celebrated by young Jesuits and novices.

Love and prayers… betsisanders

I survived Christmas 2016

Christmas 2016

Let me just quote someone's Christmas greeting. Dr. Tinali wrote “Taking a much needed break from all the Christmas preparations and chaos... however tired I am, I feel the joy of the season, as I remember my loved ones near and far, and those who have gone ahead of us. From my family to yours, a very Merry Christmas!! May your celebrations be filled with joy and love. And may the New Year bring you overflowing blessings and prosperity!”  

What follows is how I felt and what I wrote on Instagram… “It was exactly how I was feeling. And that no matter how life treats us, We take extra effort to create a happy place not for ourselves but for those people dear to us.  If it is just to beautify our homes and labour in the kitchen for hours, even days, and make that one day special every year to celebrate our Lord’s birthday, by sharing what little that we have with our family and extended families, make each one feel important, make them forget (for a few hours) their own miseries, by setting aside our own troubles is probably the essence of Christmas.  Showing love by simply ‘showing up’ for that one gathering…  I can always go back to being selfish, grumpy, Grinch-like every day of the year. But on Christmas,  I should be selfless.” 

And may I add … It’s not about giving gifts because I don’t really give nice expensive gifts since I cannot afford them.  Hosting this Christmas dinner is a lot of work, months of decorating, days of cleaning the house, hours of washing dishes and cooking.  Some might not even appreciate this gesture. They might expect gifts or cash in red envelopes. Oh well,  maybe someday they will realize how much work was put into hosting this one Christmas dinner. 

  

                                                   

                                                   

The calm before the storm ... 

Sanders' Christmas Eve Dinner

Chicken 'kamameshi' Rice

and Cayenne Shrimps by me

Chinese Ham and Queso de Bola

Chicken Rolls by Rosalie

Ox tail Karekare, Beef Asado,

Spaghetti Bolognese and Fish Fillet 

by Ate Nene

***

Leche Flan by Ate Nene & Grapes

Pear & Almond Tartlets

Caramel Apple Cake topped with Green Sprinkles

and Crushed Candy Cane by me

Merry Christmas!!!

***

Just the 12 of us... hope to see everyone in 2017!!!

The kids have all grown bigger than the oldies.

At ang lalakas uminom ng Tequila at Henessy.

Kami Mountain Dew lang at Pepsi Max.

***

My three Christmas trees for 2016

********

All is calm again ....  the Sanders' Christmas dinner ended at half past ten.  I was watching TV in bed (like I always do), when the Acapellago started singing Christmas carols. That's cool!!
(I remember watching Alvin at The Manila Peninsula every Christmas when the Ateneo Boys Choir would serenade the hotel guests. What a lovely memory.) The Acapellago were guests of Mr. Boy Abunda in his late night talk show.  I tuned in a bit late and they were discussing Christmas traditions. When I was about to turn off the TV,  The Christmas Eve Healing Eucharistic TV Mass started. Now, how lucky can one get? ... Noche Buena Dinner with Family. Christmas carols, and Christmas Eve Mass.  All in the comfort of my own home, All I have to do is turn off the TV, pull up my blanket and have a good night's rest.
Happy birthday Jesus!  Thank you for my family and for the few good friends who never forget me. I hope to do this again next year, Life is good. All is well. All is calm again ...

********

PS...

I was wondering why I had more than a dozen notifications on my phone. I thought that the 4:45 pm written on the right upper portion on my phone was part of a previous screenshot.  OMG …  ganern? I slept for 18 hours, with one bathroom break at 4am, then for 12 hours straight of dreamless sleep. And ...No… I didn’t take extra pain meds. The HubB  thought I had stopped breathing when he checked up on me at 3 pm.  That’s how exhausted I was. 

Last year,  I remember hosting three parties in eight days. This year, we only had two parties in 7 days.  Aging is fast catching up on me.   It's been six days since our Christmas eve dinner and I haven't fully recharged. Oh dear... I missed watching the MMFF movies.  

Oh well…. 

I survived this Christmas! 

Hope to see you all again next year!!!
love love love love ........ betsisanders

Flowers on Christmas

Title:  Flowers

Size:  16 x 16 inches

Medium:  Acrylic:

Artist: betsisanders 2016

***

Christmas in the Philippines starts on the first day of the -ber months.

  Some say we have the longest Christmas season in the entire world.

  For me, the season starts in August, when I begin to bring out my decors

and start setting up a Christmas tree.  I've been doing this for years  and I make

 sure the tree is up and ready on my mother's birthday in October.  

Hopefully by Christmas eve, I am done decorating trees. 

 This year I have three Christmas trees. .The season extends  even after 

the New Year and ends on Valentine's Day, Chinese New Year 

or my birthday.   That's the time when I dismantle the trees

 and keep the decors in plastic storage boxes. 

Advent means the arrival of a notable person, thing or event.

Advent is the "second coming of Christ".

As we wait for the arrival of our Lord,

some become impatient, some are filled with emotion, 

passion, expectancy and positivity. We wait for Christ 

to fill \us with love. In turn, we share, give, impart and transfer

this love to our family, friends, neighbors, co-workers, 

our community and most of all, with the poor, 

needy, sick and elderly.

We may not be financially or physically capable 

of sharing material things.  What can one do?

  ...... ... I can't even  think of anything noble, worthy, unselfish, 

generous or virtuous to do.

I guess a sincere greeting, with a beautiful 

smile, and a warm hug would suffice.  

This painting of flowers is my simple way 

of  greeting you all on Christmas day.  

May you all be filled with an abundance of

 love from  your family and friends.

love love love love,

betsisanders

"It pours..."

Title:  “It pours…”   Size:  8 x 11 inches    Medium:  Acrylic

“When it rains, it pours!”  What does this really mean?  As I Googled it’s meaning, the first one that came up was … “difficult things always happen at the same time”.    It could also refer to bad things happening  (if not at the same time) at a short period of time, which most often gets worse. 
What is best done in case “it pours”?   I’m not a psychologist, counselor or spiritual adviser and in no position to give guidance.  What I can do is share what I do when I am overwhelmed with sadness.The first thing I do is cry but I only give myself a few minutes  to weep.  I used to cry non-stop but I have learned to control my sobs.  I tell myself that whatever bothers me today won’t matter one year from now.  I’ve learned to do this through years of practice. Then, I pause. I keep very still and start praying.  
People used to tell me to count from 1 to 10 every time I get disappointed or angry.  Counting doesn’t work for me.  I’ve learned to be quiet, not to open my mouth and spew out expletives, which never ever solved my problems, never stopped the tears and most often,  hurting those people closest to me. Create a distraction.   Others would suggest calling a friend. I used to do this a lot.  I would reach for the telephone, call a friend, and another, and another.  Didn’t quite work for me. I ended up repeating my story over and over.  Some friends listened but they soon got tired and weary listening to my complaints, hurts, body aches, generalized muscular and skeletal pain and personal problems.  Only a handful truly cared and helped. What distraction did I do? I would watch television,  read a book or paint. It’s been this way for the past 16 years and so far, these distractions always lightened my mood, lifted my spirit, even alleviated physical pain, as I waited for my pain medications to kick in. 
This acrylic painting is the result. 
May you do what’s most effective to lessen the load you carry when “it pours”.

Winter Spring Summer or Fall

Winter Spring Summer or Fall

Winter is represented by the nude painting, the title of which is

If an old girl is quiet ...

Spring is represented by the bonzai tree with cherry blossoms,

the title of the painting is My Cherry Blossoms

Summer is represented by the nude girl sitting on a sunflower.

the title of the painting is If a girl is quiet...

Fall is represented by those maple leaves, the title of the

painting is  Autumn Leaves .

I kept on saying winter spring summer or fall …  over and over.

Couldn’t remember the song where these lyrics came from.

Hmmm… I gave up and searched Google.

The lyrics came from the song by Carole King.

My Dad gave me a long playing album of Ms. King, Tapestry,

when I was very young.  I memorized all of the

songs in the album and played it all the time.

 We didn’t have  computers or internet

back then and all I did was play records on my Dad’s

stereo or on my portable record player that my mother

got me for Christmas.When not listening to music,  reading

pocketbooks and playing the piano kept me and my

sisters busy. Life was so much simpler back then.

Going back to the song “You’ve Got a Friend”, the song’s theme

 is an expression of a “universal sisterly/brotherly love,

an agape-type love of one human being for another,

regardless of gender”, according to author James D. Perone.

The song had appealed to lonely people needing support

from friends. I also read that James Taylor, who had recently

recovered from depression back then, had evoked emotions

from the lyrics when he heard Carole King perform the song.

Even the music elicits or draws out compassion, caring, concern,

kindness and support for people in need of a friend.

***

“You’ve Got A Friend”

When you’re down and troubled,
And you need some love and care,
And nothing, nothing is going right
Close your eyes and think of me,
And soon I will be there
To brighten up even your darkest night.You just call out my name
And you know wherever I am
I’ll come running to see you again
Winter, spring, summer or fall
All you have to do is call
And I’ll be there
You’ve got a friendIf the sky above you grows dark and full of clouds
And that old north wind begins to blow
Keep your head together and call my name out loud
Soon you’ll hear me knocking at your door

You just call out my name
And you know wherever I am
I’ll come running, running, yeah, yeah, to see you again
Winter, spring, summer or fall
All you have to do is call
And I’ll be there
And I’ll be there, yes I will.

Now, ain’t it good to know that you’ve got a friend
When people can be so cold?
They’ll hurt you, yes, and desert you
And take your soul if you let them,
Oh, but don’t you let them

You just call out my name
And you know wherever I am
I’ll come running, running, yeah, yeah, yeah, to see you again.
Winter, spring, summer or fall
All you have to do is call
And I’ll be there, yes I will.
You’ve got a friend

You’ve got a friend
Ain’t it good to know, you’ve got a friend?
Ain’t it good to know?
Ain’t it good to know?
Ain’t it good to know, you’ve got a friend?

Oh yeah, now
Oh, you’ve got a friend
Yeah, baby
You’ve got a friend
Oh yeah…
You’ve got a friend

***

Have a wonderful weekend dear friends.

Love love love love …. betsisanders