The Blue Ballerina

Artist : betsisanders 09
Title: The Blue Ballerina
Medium: Watercolor on Paper
Size: 8 x 11 inches

This painting is my version of the original (painted by a Foot & Mouth Painter). The original ballerina wore a white tutu. In my version she wears a 'powder blue' tutu.

The little lady is shown tying the laces of her ballet shoes. While at it, she is probably feeling very anxious, nervous , excited about her performance. By slowly tying her shoe lace, she is indeed having a quiet time, alone, separate from the other girls , who may be as anxious and more nervous than she is. These few minutes are pr0bably spent on reviewing her steps , silently praying that she doesn't make a mistake, or probably, thanking God for the opportunity to express herself thru dance, make an identity for herself, show others what she is capable of, reveal an important part of herself, the balerina, the dancer, the performer, the artist.

During my early years in life, I have always wanted to take ballet lessons. My two younger, slim sisters were taking ballet lessons, But since i was on the heavy side, chubby, fat :) Nanay didn't think I would fit in any leothards or tights, that's why she didn't let me take ballet lessons.

After my back surgery in 1987, I underwent physical therapy, almost daily, for many many years. My physical therapist would comment that I have very flexible joints and that if I had taken ballet lessons when young, it could have corrected some if not all the back and spine problems that I have today.

I suffer from degenerative disc disease, cervical spondylosis, lumbar spinal spondylosis and spondylolistheses, rotator cuff syndrome, myofascial pain syndrome, chronic pain syndrome, fibromyalgia, carpal tunnel syndrome, hypertension and diabetes mellitus. I have to take medications to regulate my blood sugar, blood pressure, bowel movement, treat gastric problems and alleviate pain. Doctors advised me to take insulin, but until now, I still refuse to do so, hoping that oral hypoglycemic medications can regulate blood sugar levels. I am undergoing pain management, so I can function like a normal individual during the day, be productive , pain-free , to be able to do household chores, cook and bake for my husband and son, to be an ideal wife and mother, to make delicious pasta dishes , cupcakes, tarts for our food business, to work and finish my last orthodontic cases, and lastly, to escape the melancholia that comes with these illnesses.

Tramadol, Celebrex, Neurontin, Lyrica, Stillnox, Rivotril, Benadryl, Advil, Tylenol, Flanax, etc etc etc.... are my constant companions. I am never without any of them. They make me feel normal, pain - free, and functional, so, I can be a good wife, a loving mother, a caring friend, a better dentist. Without them, I will be in anguish and all I can do is lie down on the bed and cry. One does not have to tell the entire world of one's pain or suffering all the time. People get tired of listening to my old stories... so i have dropped the pathetic sad stories of my life. I go on with life, with one major goal,,, and that is to pursue happiness.

Live, love and be happy.... betsisanders 09