Say it with flowers ...

Title: Say it with flowers
Medium: Acrylic
Size: 3 ft x 3 ft
Artist: betsisanders 2011

What follows is a poem by Fernando Pessoa. [Pessoa was a Portuguese poet, writer, literary critic and translator described as one of the most significant literary figures of the 20th century and one of the greatest poets in the Portuguese language. (June 13, 1888 - November 30, 1935)

A Poem by Fernando Pessoa

Listen, Daisy, When I die, although You may not feel a thing,
you must tell all my friends in London how much my loss makes you suffer.
Then go to York, where you claim you were born (But I don't believe a thing you claim),
To tell that poor boy who gave me so many hours of joy
(but of course you don't know about that) that I'm dead.
Even he, whom I thought I sincerely loved, won't care. . .
Then go and break the news to that strange girl Cecily,
Who believed that one day I'd be great. . .
To hell with life and everyone in it!

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I found the ending of the poem quite funny. The poem has nothing to do with this blog. I just thought I'd quote it. ... and let you analyze it, or perhaps, not analyze it at all. Just laugh at it like I did.

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Forgiveness .....

I have experienced pain from a relationship with a friend from high school. The memory of the pain sits deep and gnaws inside me. I do not forgive because I feel that if I do, I am setting her free or I am forgetting the wrong that has been done. She has to pay for the hurt, the damage, the anguish that she has caused me. She betrayed my trust and disrespected me.

This evening, after I watched a movie with my boys, Alvin and I were walking leisurely at the mall, while I savored the frozen yogurt... I chanced upon the husband and daughter of my 'frenemy'. She is back in the country. My smile quickly turned into a frown; I found myself walking fast and walking away; my tranquil heart started to beat faster; there was turbulence deep inside my chest. Adrenaline and norepinephrine surged. It was either a fight or a flight. I chose to flee and run away.

I kept on repeating these words in my mind. "If you don't like something, change it, If you can't change it, change your attitude." This was posted in one of my friends status updates and I memorized it. It has been six hours since, and I am still saying these words in my head.

I was very upset. I wanted to paint, but it was past midnight. So, I opted to read instead... to keep myself busy, to distract my mind, to try and be calm. I read Marianne Williamson's Facebook status. She wrote and I quote, " Miracles occur naturally as expressions of love. This isn't theory, it's an unalterable fact, a law of the universe. So don't worry if you can't see the result of your forgiveness just yet; know that any mental breakthrough from fear to love generates a cosmic engine of miraculous breakthrough as sure as the sun's rising or setting. That faith on your part, your knowledge of spiritual law, will be a force magnifier that brings the miracle into manifestation more powerfully and quickly." This is from ACIM , A Course in Miracles. .... I posted it on my 'wall'., turned off the computer, prayed the rosary and forced myself to sleep.

Sure... forgive... I still battle with forgiveness.

.... I still hold on to anger. This anger that takes away my joy, my happiness... disturbs the calm that I have worked for and achieved.

I need to forgive and forgive fast...NOW!

Jesus, please help me.

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I have this tiny white teddy bear angel with a small halo on its head, with its front paws together and rear paws bended, and when you press on one of its paws, it would start saying its evening prayers.

"Now I lay me down to sleep, I pray the Lord my soul to keep,
and if I die before I wake, I pray the Lord my soul to take. "

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The poem, the blog, not even the teddy bear angel, have anything to do with the painting. It's just one of those days when some things do not make sense. Remember the sermon of the flower? keep it in mind, it helps.

Goodnight everyone =]=]=]