If I had known what I know now...

Iyanla wrote:  If you trust yourself enough to know you can feel bad and recover, you will do just that. If you remember to laugh in the bad times knowing that some good must come out of them, you will see the good. You must remember that you have the strength, courage, power, and divine right to change the course of your life to any direction you choose.

It's good to know that I can feel bad, I can sulk all I want for how long I want and I can do just that! Who says that someone can't be sad because someone else may have it worse?   So does that mean I can't  be happy because other people  have it better?  I will cry whenever I need to. I will paint and write, read and pray, because it is really none of anyone's busyness but mine.  I can and will come out stronger and happier because I choose to be.  My happiness does not depend on anyone, anybody. In fact, a few selfish narcissists who took advantage of my kindness and used friendship for material gain have caused many sleepless nights. They even have the nerve to call me names and twist facts to maintain their pretty perfect image by painting a dark picture of me. ... There I go again, and again. Someday, I will be vindicated. 

***

What do you do?  What have you become?

What do I do?  Someday people will know who's 

telling the truth and who twisted the facts. 

They don't need to understand.

***

Why do I write or paint?

Because one day I am going to die.

If we both die today, what do we leave behind?

I will leave my paintings and my blogs. 

What about you? What will you leave your child?

***

Good night. 

I hope to have a good sleep again tonight.

I slept 10 hours last night. What about you?

No wonder you only sleep for a couple of hours.

If I had only known what I know now.

/ betsisanders 2013