A dying man needs to die

As I was cleaning the shelves near my bed, I found my little book, “The Pocket Buddha Reader”.  I have not seen this book for a long time. I never got to finish reading it, because after every page, every paragraph that I read, I pause. then go on thinking and contemplating on every verse. My mind is bombarded with thoughts, more questions, every time I open this book.

I randomly opened the small book and here is what I read.

Moghavagan came to the Buddha. “I have come to you with a question, great sage.  I am afraid of death. Is there any way to look upon the world so as not to be seen by the king of death?”

“Look upon the world as empty,” the Buddha replied. “This is the way to overcome death. Cease thinking of yourself an entity that really exists. If you look on the world in this way, you will never be seen by the king of death.”

Hmmmm….  Here I am at two in the morning, writing about death, and the paragraph that I quoted confuses me.  How can I think of myself as an entity that doesn't exist? I feel, I think, I care, I love, I fear, I hate, I ache … I have all these emotions.  I was awakened by physical pain. My neck, shoulders, arms, hands and upper back hurt so much that I just had to take three more pills to be relieved of this suffering. Pain is real, unrelenting. Pain is as human as I can get, and it reminds me that I exist.  … and that death is the only way to free me from this constant suffering.

Oh my dear … the first blog of 2013 is about pain, suffering and death.  That is just how it is. Death is part of the cycle of life. Stewart Alsop says “A dying man needs to die, as a sleepy man needs to sleep, and there comes a time when it is wrong, as well as useless to resist.” I say, a poet needs to write, a painter needs to paint, a singer needs to sing, a dancer needs to dance,  and a dying man needs to die.”

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/ betsisanders 2013