my dad / may 2012

On my flight back to Manila, the lady flight attendant gave me a whole can of diet virgin cola. I found this kind gesture out of the ordinary. The ordinary is... They usually just give you a glass of your choice of beverage, and it is very seldom that I ask for a refill because I do not drink liquids unless I need to take my medicines. This small act of kindness almost triggered an avalanche of tears. But I had to control myself. The cabin lights were on and people might just think I'm a looney.

I already shed buckets yesterday while I was packing my luggages. Didn't pass by the nursing facility to say goodbye to my Dad, Bentol. Aimee and I visited him the night before, after a whole day of shopping and touring Fairfield's Budweiser brewery and Jelly Belly factory.

Dad was asleep when we arrived at his hospital room. He looked small, quite frail and helpless, while lying on his side in a fetal position. Aimee woke him up, it was just 730 and too early for bed. But what else could Dad do? He dosed off and slept after his blood sugar draw and insulin shot. He recognized Aimee right away and smiled. We kept Dad company and stayed for about two hours, chatting with Dad, taking photos and watching CNN, while Dad had his nebulizer treatment.Dad usually brushes his teeth around 9pm, then asks for diaper change, ..that would signal bedtime.

So, Aimee and I prepared to leave. Aimee hugged Dad and promised to visit him again. I got Dad's hand and placed it on my forehead. That is how I always greet and say goodbye to my parents. We don't kiss or hug, we were not raised that way by Nanay. We just "bless" or "Mano". I said Bye Dad, i'll see you again soon.

I did not hug my Dad. I did not cry in front of him. I just waved many many times as Aimee and I left his room. We both cried as we left the nursing facility, while walking in the parking lot to Aimee's car. ...and I haven't stopped crying.

I am now back in my room, on my computer at the corner of the bedroom. Here again, typing away at dawn. Missing my family. I promise to see you again soon.

betsisanders 2012

dad's home

doing therapy

crystal's birthday

looking goog.. on his way to doctor's office